GRANDMA

  Last night I had a dream that I saw you, I ran up to you and held you in my arms so tight, I told you that I love you and that I wish I can spend more time with you. I remember looking into your little greens eyes and telling you that I am sorry that I didn't cry when u left us, but you see the thing was that I didn't want to believe that I wasn't ever going to see you again. I didn't noticed until today how much I miss you and how much I need you. Today I was standing in line when I saw this lady that reminded me so much of you. When she looked at me she smiled at me just like you did when I use to go to your house. I wanted to run up to her and hold her as if she was you, but I couldn't because it would only hurt me. I tried not to look at her as much as I could but I still managed to hear her. As I was waiting some lady called out her name MARIA ORTIZ, I stopped what I was doing and said to myself MARIA ORTIZ!!! That was your name. I couldn't believe it, my eyes watered as I looked at her , I smiled sadly wishing that it was you there in the same room with me. I took a deep breath as she walked away. For that was the last time I was ever going to she her. Grandma last night as you hugged me in my dream you told me that you would never leave. I miss you so much, and all the tears that I didn't cry when you first left I am crying now. I remember those days when I had to walk with you to get grandpas food, we had to walk up a really long hill, because your legs were so old and small it would take us longer, all I could think of is that I wanted to get home. To tell you the true I wish I could walk up that long hill with you one more time and just take time to tell you how much I love you. Grandma I am so sorry for all the times that you had to yell at me for not listening to you, I was just a little girl and I didn't know much..now I know that I was wrong for doing the thing that I did and again I am very sorry I miss you with all my heart! Grandma I really need you right now, my life isn't going all that good and I could really use your words to help me. Well grandma I got to go but always remember that I love you!!!!!!! IN LOVE AND IN MEMORY TO THE BEST GRANDMA EVER MARIA CALPENA ORTIZ R.I.P I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!!

 

 

THE DEVILS PLAY

Darkness surrounds my mind, eco’s play in the emptiness of my heart, tear’s waters my eyes, and loneliness circles my soul…. Where’s the laughter of the little girl with in? is she finally gone? Words can’t explain how I feel, a bullet can’t describe the pain… they say talking help release stress but how can I if there’s no one to talk to? I look and I seek and there’s no one in site where did everybody go? Is this what the end looks like?? So many roads to choose from but no one standing at the end… no friends, no family… Why did they leave and why did they leave me behind? Am I that bad?? What am I, some kind of monster??? Hell can’t compare to this so called home… I guess gods didn’t make his angle strong enough to fight the devils demons… now the only laughs I hear are those of the devil insinuating that he not only  won the battle but the whole war!